Working on My Marriage

I've been married almost 18 years. And over those years it seems like there is always something more important to work on than the marriage - work, college, starting a business, raising 5 kids, homeschooling, TV, volunteer work, and even ministry work.

But if we don't get focusing on this marriage, then it won't make it. Both my husband and I have been feeling attacks from the enemy on our marriage. We feel like God may be calling us to full time ministry work at our church, but there is no way that is going to work out unless we strengthen our marriage first.

Over the last year and a half, I've read Stormie Omartian's book The Power of a Praying Wife. And I've actually prayed for my husband, along with using 31 Days of Praying for Your Husband at the Nancy Leigh DeMoss site. Sometimes it was really hard to pray for him, especially those days that I feel that he didn't deserve to be prayed for. But praying for him caused me to feel closer to him. And I see evidence that God has been already answering some of those prayers.

Last week, we agreed to listen to Family Life Today together. What an eye opening that was for us. It was 5 episodes about respecting your husband and loving your wife. And wouldn't you know it - the guest speaker said that I need to respect my husband even when he doesn't deserve it. What a concept, and it's Biblical. All this time I've been waiting until he deserves my respect and he's been waiting until I deserve his love.

My husband and I don't usually pray together and I wish that we did. I'm waiting for him to be the spiritual leader and to want to pray with me. But last week, I just said it on my own - "Will you pray with me?" And he did. It was no big deal that I suggested it. I'm going to keep suggesting it and then he will realize how important it is to me that we pray together. Eventually, we will develop a good habit of praying.

So, it's time to put a priority on our marriage. This means that we will need to spend less time doing other things. It also means that it isn't all of his responsibility. If he isn't making an effort, than I need to.

I also discovered that Nancy Leigh DeMoss has a radio program called Revive Our Hearts and it is online. I've listened to 2 of her shows and they were helpful. So, I'll try to listen to her also. I'm going for it. And it's about time.